Collected #ONTHEBUS Reports for June/July 2011

• Just did a sick Ollie to frontside grind on the corner curb, collectively.

• Someone heaved on the back seats. Driver yelled "HOT LUNCH" and kicked everyone off
  
  
• Kid with an entire crate of tennis balls
  
  
• Man keeps banging cell phone on seat to "improve reception"
  
  
• Does B.O. rise or fall? What's my best plan of escape?
  
  
• Woman has been repeating "It's a damn shame" into her phone for nine blocks. #damnshame
  
  
• "No, YOU pay YOUR fair share!" - Man talking back to pre-recorded message.
  
  
• "MEMOREX!!!" - same man a few seconds later
  
  
• Just as I was boarding, a guy in an oversized sweatsuit slammed a rake against a lamp post right next to me. It broke. He laughed.
  
  
• Guy behind me starting into his wallet and making "sssst" sound over and over.
  
  
• Talked to my neighbor about golf. Pretended to understand.
  
  
• Sat next to huge guy taking up a seat and a half. No one wanted that half. I took it. I ride expert level.
  
  
• Two laptops, three iPads, a Kindle and ten smartphones. Tomorrow i'm bringing a desktop...and it'll be an Amiga 500.
  
  
• There is a lady with a book. Don't worry, I'll kick it out of her hands and give her an iPod.
  
  
• Oakland's bus system is not that different from SF, yet I am nonetheless confused by it's nuance
  
  
• Little British girl in the doorway playing twenty questions with driver. Not adorable to people trying to get on
  
  
• Lady lightly grazed by back door is now accusing the driver of trying to kill her. Loudly.
  
  
• "I see a penis and I grab it! Excuse me! I go left now!"