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Entries in #onthebus (23)

Tuesday
Jul022013

COLLECTED #ONTHETRAIN REPORTS FOR MARCH-JUNE 2013

 

NOTE: My survalence data stream has been thin since moving to New York, but now that things are a bit more settled the information is flowing in again.  Enjoy this digest of the last four months and look for more to come monthly.

  • Woman's jacket looks like a bale of fiberglass insulation.

  • Watching a single green Tic-Tac wrestle with inertia on the floor.

  • Woman who just puked in the doorway then ran will never know how she brought everyone #onthetrain in this car together tonight.

  • Man explaining the game charades to a whole row of people. He's now doing a charade of "charades."

  • "That acoustic guitar guy sucks! Why not just play Smith covers?" said the pale man with a Fonzie jacket & hair like a hedgehog.

  • Man playing with two measuring tapes.

  • Hats with animal ears are popular now. Who's gonna step up and wear a full mascot head?

  • Girl + guitar on back VS. inertia + gravity. Gravity wins.

  • Women drinking whiskey out of gift bag.

  • Man in full Scottish regalia has bag for his bagpipes. It says "The Pipe Caddy"on the strap.

  • He is clearly out for St. Patrick's Day, but he is clearly Scottish. What gives? #booze

  • Floor possibly coated in liquid salami.

  • Without words, lady answers the burning question, "what if patchouli was an extra-hold hairspray?"

  • Thought this kid was wearing a yarmulke, but his hair is just real round.

  • Woman with white hair in double buns and wearing leopard stretch pants may be forgotten Spice Girl.

  • When the car is rocking slow it feels less like I'm #onthetrain and more like I'm in a giant cradle full of hipsters and business people.

  • Man's shorts and cell phone case match.

  • Woman next to me left a rail of butt sweat on the seat. #summer

  • Too tired to get into it w/ a drunk, pizza-eating girl #onthetrain, so I left it at "Fuck You" & "You need a napkin" then called it a night.

  • A guy in the station congratulated me for telling the drunk pizza girl to fuck off. Positive reviews are always nice.

  • Oxford shirt count: Blue - 5, Pink - 2, Jeanscolor - 3

  • Toes. So many exposed toes.

  • Women playing Words With Friends next to each other are not friends.

  • Unsure of your outfit? Accessorize with a large portfolio. Art student = all bets are off.

  • "I'm the coolest at my frat. Addy isn't that cool. Dan isn't that cool" "You're not that cool" "Everyone was at my birthday"

  • "Why didn't your old Asian girlfriend go here?" "Her family was dirt poor. $20K a year. How do you even live like that?"