COLLECTED #ONTHETRAIN - #ONTHEBUS REPORTS FOR JULY-SEPTEMBER 2013

• Someone is going on and on about how Burning Man is more than a music festival and now I miss SF.
  
  
• "I want to do more indoor YouTubes at night. Quality night YouTubes." #youtubes
  
  
• "I mean going to the hospital is cool and everything, but I really like just health."
  
  
• Bored kids with sunglasses - 5. Bored old lady with wrap-around sunglasses - 2.
  
  
• Guy wearing shirt with ripped-out armpits. Fashion statement or power BO?
  
  
• Art school girl, you best keep that hand on the lens cap. Don't get itchy with that trigger finger.
  
  
• Been awhile. #onthebus #Seattle
  
  
• I've never been on a city bus with air conditioning. Not a fan. (No pun) #onthebus #Seattle
  
  
• Two guys got on and I can only describe their look as "Neon Cowboy Dipshit." #onthebus #Seattle
  
  
• Just pulled up to a bus stop that was filled with geese. #onthebus #Seattle #notkidding #PacificNorthwest
  
  
• Sleeping man's iPhone about to answer gravity's call. #onthebus #Seattle
  
  
• This bus and this city are filled with men I call "Variations On David Cross." #onthebus #Seattle
  
  
• FYI: If you ride this line you may be vlogged or podcasted. #onthebus #Seattle pic.twitter.com/DoYD5KJyLa
  
  
• Priority seating for blondes only #imnotcreepyatall pic.twitter.com/nfPKwyGlGM
  
  
• Woman sneezed directly into my back hard enough that her face hit me.
  
  
• Gaggle of tourist teens w/ heavy southern accents staring in quiet disbelief at a Devendra Banhart look-a-like in a tube top.
  
  
• Thought this lady had huge, lumpy, lopsided breasts. Turns out it's a baby in a black sling that blends with her black dress.
  
  
• The modern equivalent of having a loud boom box #onthetrain is playing Candy Crush full volume.
  
  
• "You ever feel like a human mule?"
  
  
• No matter where I move this lady's oversized shopping bag keeps smacking my modestly-sized nut bag.
  
  
• Landing a seat across from a blind guy is the holy grail of not making eye contact #onthetrain