Collected #ONTHEBUS Reports for February 2011

• I think I am the youngest one #onthebus today.
  
  
• We almost hit a dude. Driver slammed the brakes, then a bus-wide chorus of "WHOAH!" Now everyone is mad at the dude we almost hit.
  
  
• Woman's ass and her tights are in a fight to the death
  
  
• Man has a "treasure trail" on the back of his head
  
  
• I don't mind if you blast music on your cell phone, but I draw the line at Phish
  
  
• "Went to the Superbowl, sat ten rows away from Snoop Dog, broke into this house and stole a fur. Crazy, dude."
  
  
• Italian guy next to me smells like my grandparent's shower
  
  
• "My boy was like, it's snowing in Texas! Bring your snowboard, we'll skeech on some tractors!"
  
  
• Italian Guy put in earplugs because Superbowl Snowboarder won't shut up.
  
  
• "I figured I could make an extra $50,000 a year not smoking weed all day. So I'm off the trees at work now."
  
  
• "You can call that dude a square because he loves weed do much."
  
  
• Just noticed all the seats have drain holes. Look like belly buttons.
  
  
• "Yeah I'm taking the Cooper to LA! Mashin' in the Cooper on the Five ALL DAY!"
  
  
• Thanks for recognizing me, nice lady. Sorry my social gimp soured our talk into silent, flacid anticipation the rest of the ride
  
  
• AT LEAST 7 women have a hip "bangs w/ benefits" haircut. Like a mullet & a bowl cut had a trust fund baby. Does that have a name?