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Saturday
May312014

COLLECTED #ONTHETRAIN REPORTS FOR MARCH-MAY 2014

 

  • Doo-wop singers scolded by Muslim man.

  • Straight couple have marching keffiyeh. And haircuts.

  • Well, a pack teenagers are fucking with a guy in a wheelchair, so it's official: teens in groups are the 11th plague.

  • Woman's zipper quota exceeded.

  • Skull ring adorable.

  • From what I can make out, this guy may be listening to the theme from "Dynasty" on his headphones.

  • I will never understand how or why anyone applies eye makeup on this violent turbulence machine.

  • The BBC is reporting that we have hit "peak beard."

  • Headphones fancy.

  • Pre-teens swapping stories of pet neglect.

  • Dude straight up smoking a cigarette #nofucks

  • "Shrimps. You feel me? Shrimps and French fries. You feel me? 15 pieces. You feel me?"

  • Two big guys work with a guy named Squiggy and another guy named Mike who talks too much and needs his jaw broken.

  • Three young guys on the way to work debating aloud the timeless philosophical question: "Would you let her finger you?"

  • Man's headphones may actually be airplane tires:


  • Two Father John Misty doppelgängers guarding the door like the Oracle in The Neverending Story. #judgementlasers

  • Man with down coat and wool hat but no shirt. #compromise

  • Watching a white woman timidly smile at some hyper black kids like we all can't tell she's uncomfortable.

  • Large man squeezed next to me for three stops. Then a larger man took his place. My life is a Buster Keaton short.

  • One thing they don't warn you about when you move to New York: the looming threat of ambush by a field trip #onthetrain

  • Had to headbutt a Chinese lady for some personal space. Thinking of you, SF.

  • Bad breath incarnate just got on. Dude got a halitosis halo. His mouth ain't even open.

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