COLLECTED #ONTHEBUS REPORTS FOR MAY-OCT 2012

MAY

• Magenta stain on the seat...not easy to identify...i'm sitting down anyway.
  

JUNE

• #onthebus to LA Pride. I've never experienced such a well-fragranced route. #neverwillagain #LA

AUG

• Well, well, well...it's been a while but look who's back #onthebus
  
  
• Medieval headdress + modern dreadlocks = time distortion based headache.
  
  
• Man with Wolfman Jack voice says this fall is all about not smoking that rock. #wolfmancrack
  
  
• 30% increase in goth chicks. #velour
  
  
• So, not at all? / RT @ShreddyMercury Finally! I missed #onthebus like I missed bad jokes about Mormons and sex.
  
  
• Woman in SUV next to us is driving with one hand, allowing cockatiel to perch on other hand. #wellactuallynexttothebus
  
  
• "Asshole" might be the only word this driver can say. Oh wait, add "bitch" to the list.
  
  
• Male ponytail up 47%
  
  
• Cat lady brought cat on. On looks only, I'm guessing the cat's name is "Infection"
  

SEPT

• "Walkin' around like he owns the bus! He don't got a gun or nothin!" - fare evader after successfully evading a fare cop.
  
  
• Grateful Dead jacket contains three generations of body odor.
  
  
• Girl with tail clearly still at Burning Man in some capacity.
  
  
• Older Black dude has completely artificial widow's peak.
  
  
• "She pops pills, but I still think she's pretty."
  
  
• "you love me?" "get the fuck up my lap already!" #NJ
  
  
• When public trans does have upholstery, why does it always look like it was stolen from E.P.C.O.T. Center in 1986? #NJ
  
  
• The last thing I saw on the way out of New York was a Hasidic man in full traditional dress...and Crocs. #ontheairtrain #NY #thanks

OCT

• Cool dude gets on. Feet go up on seat back. Cooler dudes get on. Feet come down. (by "cooler" I mean "black")
  
  
• British couple smell like pickles.
  
  
• Mid-October Giants fan dressed like Mid-January Vikings fan.
  
  
• I will name this lady "Sequins & Cottage Cheese"
  
  
• Was gonna take a picture of how douchey this guy looks, but we've all seen that already, right? Best not open those gates now.
  
  
• I wonder how many times an hour my eyes say, "nice boobs" without giving the rest of me a heads-up.
  
  
• If U.N. Plaza in downtown SF is to be believed, the U.N. is currently comprised of seagulls, skaters and very few teeth.
  
  
• "Presidential debate? Don't know which one's stupider! I wouldn't wrap fish in either one of them!" - guy reading the paper
  
  
• "They tried to give me the Nobel Prize. Tried. I said no." - same guy.
  
  
• Homeless guy with a yoga mat plops down in the middle seat of the far back bench and says, "There, now i'm really centered!"
  
  
• It's good to be back #onthebus
  
  
• "Namaste" wrist tattoo spotted on mom dressed like Jodie Foster in "Taxi Driver."
  
  
• The chain-wallet is a ponytail for your pants.
  
  
• Can you get tuberculosis from a stare?
  
  
• If you say there are hecka Asians #onthebus that is numerically less than saying there are hella Asians #onthebus right? #baymath
  
  
• Today I learned "Vichermint Varrvft" is German Tourist for "Fisherman's Warf"
  
  
• There is an entire shitty college party #onthebus ...the front is a tangle of red Solo cups and beads.
  
  
• I'm sitting in the way back with a couple who look like Juggalos on the way to a steampunk party.
  
  
• Young Dykes in love singing "Happy Birthday" to each other. #nottheirbirthdays
  
  
• Yanni impersonator in a long white trench coat.
  
  
• Pug in a bag.
  
  
• "You can't compare Indian food to a totally different country! It doesn't even work that way!"
  
  
• "I just moved here from Boisie because everyone in this city is a drunk, broke bitch like me."
  
  
• Pug out of the bag!
  
  
• Tonight's inescapable drifting odor is: Octopus Shoe
  
  
• Carly Rae Jepson ringtone.
  

Comments

[Madé Sandrolini]

Hi Alex Koll,
I am doing a documentary with a group of people about stand up comedians. We are part of the AIM program at Tam High (Academy of Integrated Media). Our project is due soon and we would love to interview you. I came to the Dark Room last wednesday and I am returning this Wednesday and I thought you were very talented and hilarious. If you are available please get back to me as soon as possible.

Thank you!

Madé
(i couldn't find your email so hopefully you check your comments regularly...)